step away from the 12 steps

After my Husband received his fourth dui i kicked him out of the house. Yes AA and there 12 steps worked so well he kept coming back, and back and back again. Poor helpless man has a disease that he was allowed to fall and come back for more. I was done after 10 years of having the 12 steps thrown at me, I started researching. I went to a Alanon meeting, definitely not for me. I feel sorry for those women sitting in there week after week afraid to make a move with out there sponsors, afraid to get on with there lives. I made some contacts, got on line and discovered that the disease concept is just that a concept, a theory. There is no scientific proof that getting drunk is a disease.

Addiction Free Forever was one of the first places I started when searching for information and guidance on how to help him. I discovered that I was not going to be able to help him that he choose to drink and that all I could do was provide the information. The choice was his.

I also found a work book on line that I gave to him The Five Forgotten Steps AA makes you believe you are powerless to a unseen unproven disease, I was going to prove them wrong. I have and still have the power to control what goes on in my life and with my children. My Husband could just as easily choose the drink over me.

I my self read a e-book for more information, so that I was informed and educated even more Success For Addicts this book just confirmed what I already knew, but was still full of useful information.


I had started talking to my husband again and introduced him to what i had found, got him to order a book i found interesting, showed him that the 12 steppers are just cult driven factor that America accepts. He made a plan not to ever drink again, walk away completely, and he has. After 1 yr sober I let him back into my life and my home, our girls lives. He knows if he even smells like hes been around alcohol in any way shape of form he is a goner. I proved to myself I could make it on my own, I have a account set up where if need be I can tap it and be on my own, he knows this and he has no access to that account. Its me or the drink. That was my plan. he knows this also.

No more lies no more false truths.

In my research i have discovered

Drug and alcohol addictions are not incurable, progressive diseases that usually end in death. We All Die Sometime.

And they are also not "spiritual diseases." The truth is that most people spontaneously recover, and simply "mature out of" addictive behavior. Eventually, most of them simply get sick and tired of being sick and tired, and wise up.

The Harvard Mental Health Letter from The Harvard Medical School stated quite plainly:

On their own
There is a high rate of recovery among alcoholics and addicts, treated and untreated. According to one estimate, heroin addicts break the habit in an average of 11 years. Another estimate is that at least 50% of alcoholics eventually free themselves although only 10% are ever treated. One recent study found that 80% of all alcoholics who recover for a year or more do so on their own, some after being unsuccessfully treated. When a group of these self-treated alcoholics was interviewed, 57% said they simply decided that alcohol was bad for them. Twenty-nine percent said health problems, frightening experiences, accidents, or blackouts persuaded them to quit. Others used such phrases as "Things were building up" or "I was sick and tired of it." Support from a husband or wife was important in sustaining the resolution.
Treatment of Drug Abuse and Addiction — Part III, The Harvard Mental Health Letter, Volume 12, Number 4, October 1995, page 3.
(See Aug. (Part I), Sept. (Part II), Oct. 1995 (Part III).)

If your trying to step away from the 12 steps then just do it and have faith in yourself. The 12 steps made you powerless now is the time to take back your power.


There are many ways out there and options, You must choose, the same as you chose to drink.

Stanton Peele has a Great web site that gave me the information that i needed to make a informed decision on what to do and how to approach what was going on in my life.